By Samosa Moonlight

I thought, “What could be WORSE THAN DETROIT?” Last time I was there I had been MESSIN’ WITH THE MEKON and BILLY’S REVENGE for that was giving me a FAT LIP.

When I CRIED, SHE SAID, “WHY? You know THE WAY I FEEL, I BELIEVE you saw me WATCHING YOU perform your LIAR’S DANCE with my guy. You COME INTO MY LIFE like a HELEN OF TROY and MAKE ME FUNNY IN MY MIND.”

She looked real mad and I thought this is all TOO LOUD, I do not need to be in the middle of a WRECKLESS LOVE. I walked away in a state of NIRVANA and shouted, “From now on, I’ll DANCE ON MY OWN.” I chuckled and thought perhaps IF I WERE A CARPENTER, I would have hit her with a BIG LOG, maybe even 29 PALMS, but I am not the HURTING KIND.

It was the ANNIVERSARY of that night when the NETWORK NEWS announced they would reveal a MYSTERY TITLE opening on 9/3 at Joe Louis, right after the story about a spill of TIE DYE ON THE HIGHWAY. I had a TALL COOL ONE as I waited, praying to the GREAT SPIRIT that it would be THE GREATEST GIFT I could imagine.

It was!!! My BIG LOVE, Robert Plant was coming to town. I GET A THRILL, like no other , I am BURNING DOWN ONE SIDE, I feel like I am on a SHIP OF FOOLS-I had a HORIZONTAL DEPARTURE and fell into a DARKNESS, DARKNESS so deep it felt STRANGER HERE THAN OVER THERE. LITTLE BY LITTLE, I felt the MORNING DEW upon my face and OTHER ARMS upon my skin. One moment I was lost and in the next it’s LIKE I’VE NEVER BEEN GONE.

I opened my eyes and was looking into a YOUNG BOYS BLUES, I murmured, ” HEY JOE” (which sounded more like HIP TO HOO.)

Joe said, ” YOUR MA SAID YOU CRIED IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT.”

I replied, “Maybe…LAST TIME I SAW HER I was ROCKIN’ AT MIDNIGHT….Robert’s coming in concert!!”

He said, “I was CALLING TO YOU but you did not answer, when did you come DOWN TO THE SEA?”

“What’s with all the SSS AND Q’s???,” I quipped, and then, I whispered, ” I was dreaming about Robert Plant and being in a SEA OF LOVE, we were drenched in light from the moon, almost like the MOONLIGHT IN SAMOSA. As his arms enveloped me he whispered, ‘I GOT A WOMAN right here’ and together we sang a SONG TO THE SIREN…and then I heard you… Joe, I have to get to that concert.”

“Well,” he said, “I was pitching SKIP’S SONG to WIN MY TRAIN FARE HOME, but don’t fret or TROUBLE YOUR MONEY, I’ll get you a pass.”

“Oh Joe,” I sighed, “you’re the best…all SIXES AND SEVENS!” I winked at him and home I went.

HEAVEN KNOWS I was a basket case the day of the show, I had my pass- now what to wear? The PINK AND BLACK dress or the one that was WHITE, CLEAN AND NEAT? C’mon… time for ONE MORE CUP OF COFFEE and I gotta go.

I decided on a little RED DRESS and arrived just in time to see Robert rehearsing KALLALOU KALLALOU. I was EASILY LEAD by security to the stage area, feeling like I was WALKING TOWARDS PARADISE…a PROMISED LAND….where my dreams were about to be realized. There I was face to face with him…

He said, “Hello there.”

“Hello, Mr. Plant, how DOO..DOO..A DO…DO,” I stammered, oh this was a nightmare.

He smiled and said, ” I’m great and you?”

“Wonderful,” I managed.

Again, a sweet smile, as he softly asked, “Tell me are you a SLOW DANCER or a quick stepper?”

I relaxed as I said, “I was THRU WITH THE TWO STEP long ago. If you please I am certainly IN THE MOOD for a slow one.” His arms wrapped around me as we danced a dance so slow…so perfect. When it came time to part, he smiled and handed me a small pin, almost like a PLEDGE PIN….on it simply said “Our MEMORY SONG.”

By Stephanie

On Robert’s way WALKING TOWARDS the PARADISE DOWN BY THE SEASIDE Robert calls home he found a BLACK DOG.HEAVENS KNOWS it was the GREATEST GIFT he could have found that day.Robert was feeling WORSE THAN DETRIOT when the Lions lose a game.His long time girlfriend DARLENE left him. SHE SAID to him to PLEASE READ THE LETTER that she had written and then RAMBLEd ON. Robert and his new dog became good FRIENDS and on the way to the house had named her HELEN OF TROY. When they got to Robert and Darlene’s WHITE,CLEAN AND NEAT HOUSE OF LOVE he took the dog to the backyard and said “IF I WERE A CARPENTER I’d build you a dog house but since I’m not you’ll just have to do out here.” Robert’s head was feeling all SIXES AND SEVENS so he sat down in his easy chair and poured WHISKEY FROM THE GLASS and tried to forget the letter Darlene wrote him,it said:

Dearest Robert,
BABE, I’m sorry but I’M GONNA LEAVE YOU. You have my HEART IN YOUR HAND’s but I BELIEVE TWENTYONE YEARS of staying in one part of the world is too boring for me to handle.I will be going on a SHIP,OF FOOLS, to ROYAL ORLEANS then I’ll be GOING TO CALIFORNIA to visit my sister in TWENTYNINE PALMS. After that I am going to the mountians of KASHMIR. I know it might be a RUDE WORLD but I’ll Get A THRILL traveling it. I just have to DANCE ON MY OWN for a bit. I love you and your BIG LOG j/k I’ll be home in time for our ANNIVERSARY. Goodbye my WONDERFUL ONE.
Love,
your TANGERIENE

By Lilip

Once upon a time, a BLACK COUNTRY WOMAN in the PROMISED LAND, gave birth to a GREAT SPIRIT named Robert. HEAVEN KNOWS, there was some GOOD ROCKIN AT MIDNIGHT as little Robert was a precious lad. LITTLE BY LITTLE, Robert grew up and discovered he was blessed with the GREATEST GIFT of music. “I BELIEVE I can be famous” he thought.
As he practiced his moves, a SLOW DANCER he was not, his parents shook their heads in dismay. WHY? It’s TOO LOUD, they said and sent him off to work for an accountant. After of crunching numbers, Robert put on his PINK AND BLACK shirt and joined a band. Audiences had never seen anything like him, feeling Shaken and Stirred as the TALL COOL ONE moved about on stage.

Robert moved from band to band, hoping the NETWORK NEWS would take notice of his talents and he would be famous. It wasn’t the news, but a guitarist who offered him the chance of a lifetime. Robert was so excited, he told his parents, it’s time to RAMBLE ON. I’m GOING TO CALIFORNIA. Thus began the start of an amazing journey.

Led Zeppelin gave us a WHOLE LOTTA LOVE, but after TEN YEARS GONE, they sadly came to an end. Robert lost a dear friend, but after some healing time, went back to performing in small clubs. “It’s LIKE I’VE NEVER BEEN GONE,” he felt and was anxious to record.

FRIENDS and fans felt NIRVANA after the release of his first solo album. From that moment on, Robert continued a COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN - proving that there must be musical choice and not to compromise for the sake of fame. THANK YOU Robert for all you have given us. Because of your music, we’re always IN THE MOOD for a melody.

By TriXXX

BURNING UP and BURNING DOWN ONE SIDE
LIKE I’VE NEVER BEEN GONE from this GREAT SPIRIT ride
IF I EVER GET LUCKY was what I CRIED
Took my HEART IN YOUR HAND WALKING TOWARDS PARADISE

The RUDE WORLD seems so FUNNY IN MY MIND
WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNG you were the HURTING KIND
After 21 YEARS of WRECKLESS LOVE you’ll find
People EASILY LEAD by a LIAR’S DANCE learn better

When THE TRUTH EXPLODES the CITY DON’T CRY
Not for a WONDERFUL ONE asking WHY
HEAVEN KNOWS he’s commited crimes MOST HIGH
No NIRVANA, no BIG LOVE for you

IF I WERE A CARPENTER, spending days WATCHING YOU
Under MOONLIGHT IN SAMOSA while birds cried KALLALOU KALLALOU
With THE WAY I FEEL in the MORNING DEW
I’d hop the BLUE TRAIN DOWN TO THE SEA

A SHIP OF FOOLS trip, now STRANGER HERE THAN OVER THERE
Kept CALLING TO YOU, searching the DARKNESS DARKNESS everywhere
I won’t TROUBLE YOUR MONEY, TALL COOL ONE of golden hair
Just COME INTO MY LIFE and DON’T LOOK BACK

Ride UPON A GOLDEN HORSE and be SHINING IN THE LIGHT
SLOW DANCER NAKED IF I WANT TO in the night
Swirl like TIE DYE ON THE HIGHWAY - a HORIZONTAL DEPARTURE flight
Headed to 29 PALMS - our private PROMISED LAND

I GET A THRILL with you in our HOUSE OF LOVE
Alone in this BIG LOG FAR POST; crying of a dove
LITTLE BY LITTE PINK AND BLACK skies above
I BELIEVE YOUR MA SAID YOU CRIED IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT

THRU WITH THE TWO STEP, you’ve got YOUNG BOY BLUES
Sliped out THE WINDOW saying PLEASE READ THE LETTER for clues
Caught in OTHER ARMS on the NETWORK NEWS
A RED DRESS left behind - my ANNIVERSARY gift from you

By Samosa Moonlight

“Nothing’s WORSE THAN DETROIT in the snow,” SHE SAID from the front of the limousine. HEAVEN KNOWS THE WAY I FEEL about my BIG LOVE, Robert Plant, and here I sit in my RED DRESS with Detroit looking WHITE, CLEAN, AND NEAT. “WHY?”. I CRIED way TOO LOUD.

“Ma’am?”

I said, ” Not to worry or TROUBLE YOUR MONEY, I GET A THRILL when I’m trapped in DARKNESS, DARKNESS like this.” I was going to miss out on THE GREATEST GIFT I’d ever won. The MYSTERY TITLE song –knowing KALLALOU, KALLALOU got me a backstage pass, limo, and a PLEDGE PIN from the radio station. Truth is, I was kinda feeling all FUNNY IN MY MIND, maybe I needed ONE MORE CUP OF COFFEE or a TALL, COOL ONE.

“I was WATCHING YOU and I BELIEVE you’re on the sidewalk,” I yelled to the driver.

She snipped, “Maybe I could see if they threw some TIE DYE ON THE HIGHWAY.” Yeah and IF I WERE A CARPENTER, I’d take a BIG LOG and make skis. I could see it now, pictures at eleven on the NETWORK NEWS- A limo skiing down a PINK AND BLACK dyed I-75. Then it happened, over went the car HIP TO HOO and I was seeing SIXES AND SEVENS as it rolled.

“HEY, JOE!” I said to the driver. LAST TIME I SAW HER she looked like HELEN OF TROY on a SHIP OF FOOLS. The snow on my face felt like MORNING DEW and as I drifted, I heard a SONG TO THE SIREN.

LITTLE BY LITTLE, I roused feeling LIKE I’VE NEVER BEEN GONE. In the distance I heard a voice say, “YOUR MA SAID YOU CRIED IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT.”

“I missed Robert Plant last night”

Mr. Plant replied, “Did you?”

By Stephanie

Once upon a time in a PROMISED LAND, OVER THE HILLS AND FARAWAY in a village near THE OCEAN, WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNG and wasn’t such a RUDE WORLD yet there lived the most stunningly handsome man the world has ever seen. He had long beautiful golden locks of hair, the sexiest body and blue gray eyes, his name was Robert.
One night he felt like taking a swim.He rode UPON A GOLDEN HORSE, DOWN TO THE SEA with his BLACK DOG Stryder trailing behind. The DARK MOON gave an eerie WHITE,CLEAN AND NEAT light that reflected off the sea. it reminded him of the MOONLIGHT IN SAMOSA he experienced while he was on his trip to the BLACK MOUNTIAN SIDE of KASHMIR. He dismounted his horse and walked DOWN BY THE SEASIDE, Stryder following.

Robert was IN THE MOOD for a midnight swim so he stripped off his clothes LITTLE BY LITTLE, first exposing his chest then unbuckleing his pants slowly, but surely exposing the GREATEST GIFT he could give any girl of TWENTYONE YEARS of age.He swam with Stryder beside him.All of the sudden he felt LITTLE HANDS tugging at his feet he quickly swam down and pulled out what it was. To his surprise and wonderment it was a Siren. He opened his mouth and said, “WHA,WHA….What….DOO DOO A DO…DO you have a name?” He was so shocked by her beauty and existance that he didn’t know what else to say. SHE SAID, “DARLENE”

She was fair to look upon. Her fin was a TANGERINE color, her shells green and her long beautiful hair was a COLOUR OF A SHADE of bronze that when it was SHINING IN THE moonLIGHT looked copper. Robert was BURNING DOWN ONE SIDE.

By Mystical

A conversation with Robert

Some ANNIVERSARY! TEN YEARS GONE just like that! SICK AGAIN?
Must have been the CUSTARD PIE or that ONE MORE CUP OF COFFEE. I’M GONNA CRAWL to the loo LITTLE BY LITTLE. Gotta DOO DOO A DO DO.

I give you ALL MY LOVE but you do a LIARS DANCE. That BIG LOG of yours…always IN THE MOOD…usually for DARLENE!

Guess it’s NOBODY’S FAULT BUT MINE. I GET A THRILL ..

Shut up, HEARTBREAKER! Go to those OTHER ARMS! Bet she thinks you’re a TALL, COOL ONE!

Sorry, babe, I’ve got a WRECKLESS LOVE. YOUR MA SAID YOU CRIED IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

Yes, I CRIED. The floodgates opened — WAH WAH, just like when THE LEVEE BREAKS. Say something — don’t look out THE WINDOW — WHY?

I’m THRU WITH THE TWO STEP! THE WAY I FEEL — you’re the WONDERFUL ONE. The LAST TIME I SAW HER — DOWN BY THE SEASIDE — or was it THE OCEAN? — IN THE LIGHT of day, she just wasn’t the same as IN THE EVENING –

HOW MANY MORE TIMES?

Our DANCING DAYS are over. I can’t continue to RAMBLE ON.

No more being THE ROVER?

I CAN’T QUIT YOU BABY!

Behave! I’m not your LIVING LOVING MAID! You’ll get a FAT LIP! A HOUSE IS NOT A MOTEL. My sheets are WHITE, CLEAN AND NEAT!

Every day is THE BATTLE OF EVERMORE and TOO LOUD; a COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN!

I’ve decided — it’s too WEARING AND TEARING –

If THAT’S THE WAY you want it –

I’m going OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY — GOING TO CALIFORNIA –

So that means –

Yep — cry your YOUNG BOY BLUES — from now on it’s just TEA FOR ONE!

–By Yetanotherlemontree

“HEY JOE!” Robert called to the waiter, “ONE MORE CUP OF COFFEE…”

“Look, I’m not IN THE MOOD,” snapped the HEARTBREAKER opposite, a veritable HELEN OF TROY SHINING IN THE LIGHT of her RED DRESS.

“WHY not?”

“BABE I’M GONNA LEAVE YOU,” SHE SAID casually.

DAZED AND CONFUSED, he stared, “On our ANNIVERSARY??! How could you!?!”

“WHEN I WAS A CHILD, WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNG… I was EASILY LED, and your BIG LOG… your HOT DOG…” she stuttered, BURNING UP, “…Well, YOU SHOOK ME. But it’s TEN YEARS GONE since those DANCING DAYS, and LITTLE BY LITTLE, OTHER ARMS have changed the WAY I FEEL.”

“You have my HEART IN YOUR HAND. Please don’t be WRECKLESS, LOVE!”

“HOW MANY MORE TIMES must I state–I’m THRU’ WITH THE TWO STEP.”

“But I CRIED for you. Gave you ALL MY LOVE. I BELIEVE that such BIG LOVE is THE GREATEST GIFT, oh my WONDERFUL ONE! GREAT SPIRIT! MOST HIGH! I can’t DANCE ON MY OWN!”

“Shhhh! You’re TOO LOUD! People are staring…”

“I CAN’T QUIT YOU BABY! I’M GONNA CRAWL upon my knees… ohhhh… I feel all FUNNY IN MY MIND… DARKNESS, DARKNESS!!! Noooooooooo!!!!!!! HIP TO HOO, KALLALOU KALLALOU… Look what you’re doing to me DARLENE–It’s like FOUR STICKS battering my soul!!! 29 PALMS all slapping CUSTARD PIE in my face!!!! My heart, TRAMPLED UNDERFOOT by a herd of … Hey, where are you going?”

“DOWN TO THE SEA, the PROMISED LAND, OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY… Oh! HEAVEN KNOWS! Anywhere but this SHIP OF FOOLS!” she cried as she headed for the door.

He picked himself up off the floor with a sigh, “THAT’S THE WAY the cookie crumbles I s’pose… NOBODY’S FAULT BUT MINE.”

She turned, “Still… FRIENDS?”

“RAMBLE ON! … TEA FOR ONE then, Joe, THANK YOU.

By Teleri

WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNG, WHITE, CLEAN AND NEAT
The Venturas sang DOO, DOO A DO DO to a shagging beat
No RUDE WORLD then, no YOUNG BOY BLUES,
No LIAR’S DANCE, no NETWORK NEWS.

WHEN I WAS A CHILD I was a SLOW DANCER
I remember THE LAST TIME I SAW HER
The music was TOO LOUD. In DARKNESS
DARKNESS, my RED DRESS

Faded LITTLE BY LITTLE. EASILY LED by OTHER ARMS
Offering BIG LOVE, PLEDGE PINs, other charms
I wore TIE DYE, ON THE HIGHWAY
IN THE MOOD to shake that red clay

Off my feet, to see MOONLIGHT IN SAMOSA,
WALKING TOWARDS PARADISE, KASHMIR and NIRVANA
Instead, MESSIN WITH THE MEKON, I CRIED,
The sun BURNING DOWN ONE SIDE.

WALKING INTO CLARKSDALE, all PINK AND BLACK,
I saw your picture, WONDERFUL ONE, tacked
On a wall. THAT’S THE WAY I’ll go in the MORNING DEW
I told FRIENDS. Ever SINCE I’VE BEEN LOVING YOU.

I GET A THRILL ROCKIN AT MIDNIGHT
WATCHING YOU on stage, SHINING IN THE LIGHT
In COLORS OF A SHADE of gold
COME INTO MY LIFE, TALL, COOL ONE, GREAT SPIRIT, bold

I’LL WIN MY TRAINFARE HOME IF I EVER GET LUCKY
On a BLUE TRAIN I’ll go DOWN TO THE SEA
board a SHIP OF FOOLS on the SEA OF LOVE
(NOBODY’S FAULT BUT MINE, this WRECKLESS LOVE)

Like HELEN OF TROY, find the PROMISED LAND
say THANK YOU, my HEART IN YOUR HAND
THE WAY I FEEL, my ONE LOVE, LIKE I’VE NEVER BEEN GONE,
CALLING TO YOU, HEAVEN KNOWS, my SONG TO THE SIREN.

I BELIEVE THE GREATEST GIFT is learning WHY
I’M FUNNY IN MY MIND. I BELIEVE I’M FIXING TO DIE.
I’ll be THROUGH WITH THE TWO STEP soon,
to DANCE ON MY OWN under the DARK MOON.

By TriXXX

MOONLIGHT IN SAMOSA and I CRIED
It was WORSE THAN DETROIT, felt like I was BURNING DOWN ONE SIDE
Feeling all SIXES AND SEVENS in my head
HEAVEN KNOWS I was EASILY LEAD
THE WAY I FEEL - caught in a LIAR’S DANCE
WALKING TOWARDS PARADISE drinking WHISKEY FROM THE GLASS
“KALLALOU, KALLALOU!” SHE SAID TOO LOUD
WATCHING YOU, CALLING TO YOU searching the crowd
WHY on the ANNIVERSARY OF LOVE’S DECAY
On the way to NIRVANA thought DON’T LOOK BACK anyway
TIE DYE ON THE HIGHWAY all that was left I BELIEVE
Dress WHITE, CLEAN, AND NEAT, travel DOWN TO THE SEA
No more BIG LOVE, no longer HURTING KIND
No more MESSIN’ WITH THE MEKON and feeling FUNNY IN MY MIND
This SHIP OF FOOLS set sail for the PROMISED LAND
COLOURS OF A SHADE under a DARK MOON, held my HEART IN YOUR HAND
SEA OF LOVE SHINING IN THE LIGHT, the DARKNESS DARKNESS MOST HIGH
WRECKLESS LOVE of 21 YEARS but the CITY DON’T CRY
WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNG sat UPON A GOLDEN HORSE WHEN I WAS A CHILD
Watched the SONS OF FREEDOM from the HOUSE OF LOVE through THE WINDOW wild
GREAT SPIRIT, my SLOW DANCER, still a WONDERFUL ONE
LITTLE BY LITTLE IN THE MOOD but to OTHER ARMS you run
MORNING DEW I saw through 29 PALMS grown long
STRANGER HERE THAN OVER THERE, the GREAT SPIRIT of my MEMORY SONG
LIKE I’VE NEVER BEEN GONE from this FAR POST, thought of the last fight
Heard the word: YOUR MA SAID YOU CRIED IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT
ONE LOVE left, BURNING UP my BLUE TRAIN
PLEASE READ THE LETTER your only refrain
COME INTO MY LIFE, be my TALL COOL ONE
Listen to my SONG TO THE SIREN, THE ONLY ONE

–By Amy Balint

CALLING TO YOU GREAT SPIRIT,i have a WHOLE LOTTA LOVE for HELEN OF TROY. COME INTO MY LIFE, give me BIG LOVE THE WAY I FEEL IN THE EAVENING is SICK AGAIN use the SHIP OF FOOLS, across the SEA OF LOVE im TRAMPLED UNDERFOOT, EASILY LEAD by you. SINCE IVE BEEN LOVING YOU HEART BREAKER, I BELIEVE YOUR TIME IS GONNA COME in the WHITE SUMMER. HEAVON KNOWS WHY I’VE GOT A WOMAN WORSE THAN DETROIT in the BLACK MOUNTAIN SIDE. DARLENE its NOBODYS FAULT BUT MINE you CRIED IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT, but I CANT QUIT YOU BABE!

HEY HEY WHAT CAN I DO? I CRIED TOO LOUD WALKING TOWARDS PARADISE WATCHING YOU, FOR YOUR LIFE BLACK COUNTRY WOMAN THANK YOU. but BABE, COME ON HOME DOWN BY THE SEASIDE its our ANNIVERSARY; WERE GONNA GROOVE and BOOGIE WITH STU on this CELEBRATION DAY HIP TOO HOO.

By TriXXX

Yesterday I was WALKING TOWARDS PARADISE, might have been 29 PALMS, when I spotted the TALL COOL ONE in THE WINDOW.

“DON’T LOOK BACK,” I thought, “HEAVEN KNOWS you’d only be on the NETWORK NEWS if you were caught.”

“HELLO, HELLO!” he said. I walked on until he stopped me.

“I was CALLING TO YOU. Didn’t you hear when I CRIED? I’ve been WATCHING YOU in that RED DRESS, wondering WHY you’re THE ONLY ONE in this RUDE WORLD not BURNING UP from the heat.”

“You may be BURNING DOWN ONE SIDE but WHEN I WAS A CHILD, back WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNG, we used to get PINK AND BLACK from being in the sun all day. LITTLE BY LITTLE we got used to it.

“You must think I’m EASILY LEAD.”

“No, I think you’re TOO LOUD, but don’t TROUBLE YOUR MONEY over it.”

“I wanna tell you THE WAY I FEEL,” he said. “I think we’re like COLOURS OF A SHADE. I GET A THRILL thinking about when you were a SLOW DANCER. You make me think of MOONLIGHT IN SAMOSA - the way you were SHINING IN THE LIGHT, more beautiful than HELEN OF TROY, like MORNING DEW on roses. I wanna take you to a FAR POST where we can share ONE LOVE under the DARK MOON. COME INTO MY LIFE be my GREATEST GIFT. IF I WERE A CARPENTER I’d take you DOWN TO THE SEA and build you a SHIP OF FOOLS to sail you to NIRVANA in the PROMISED LAND.”

“GREAT SPIRIT, it seems LIKE I’VE NEVER BEEN GONE. Your HURTING KIND and BIG LOVE gave me DARKNESS DARKNESS for 21 YEARS. WRECKLESS LOVE is a LIAR’S DANCE - THE TRUTH EXPLODES. WAH WAH, WONDERFUL ONE, goodbye.”

I left him standing there alone.

By Tweeked Cat

Dear Robert,

When I hear you sing, I GET A THRILL. WHY? HEAVEN KNOWS, but THAT’S THE WAY I get IN THE MOOD more often than not. I could make some naughty remark about your BIG LOG, but it’s your GREAT SPIRIT that intrigues me.

THE WAY I FEEL when I hear your voice is like being a passenger on a SHIP OF FOOLS adrift on the SEA OF LOVE, but it was your talent — like HELEN OF TROY’s beauty — that launched that ship.

IF I WERE A CARPENTER, I would build you a palace and a monument in your honor. Just for the chance to be FRIENDS, I would wander DOWN TO THE SEA, take a NIGHT FLIGHT across THE OCEAN, trek through the mountains of KASHMIR, climb up every BLACK MOUNTAINSIDE and RAMBLE ON OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY. I would wear a RED DRESS, change my name to DARLENE and serve you every meal in bed — CUSTARD PIE, TEA FOR ONE, a HOT DOG, a TALL COOL ONE or ONE MORE CUP OF COFFEE — for the chance to give you ALL MY LOVE (and it’s a WHOLE LOTTA LOVE — a BIG LOVE).

I adore you; I BELIEVE you’re the embodiment NIRVANA, a flesh-and-blood PROMISED LAND, and I long to be WALKING TOWARDS PARADISE.

But you’re in the land of BRON-YR-AUR, and I’m in the land of the ROYAL ORLEANS, and never the twain shall meet, so all I can do to feel close to you is play my ROCK AND ROLL TOO LOUD, DANCE ON MY OWN and sing along with you. Your music is THE GREATEST GIFT you could give to a stranger, and for that I THANK YOU.